15 weeks old

thanks again to all who commented on my sob story post last week. thankfully, finn hasn't been as fussy and my milk seems to have upped itself a bit. i'm drinking one glass of tea a day and pumping every night and i have enough for him plus 5 oz to store every day and a half, so i'm feeling much better. it still worries me because i no longer feel engorged and i don't leak unless i'm feeding him. i should be thankful, because i'm pretty sure i complained about those things during the first few weeks, but they were strong signs that i had a lot of milk. i just have to get used to the change, i guess.

i've been working on finn to get him to giggle, but i just can't get a belly laugh. he squeals and pants and gets excited, but he hasn't laughed yet. his smiles will melt your heart, though. they are so big, and he shares them with me, and others, throughout the day. when i go into the nursery in the morning, he just grins from ear to ear. he loves his daddy and gives mr. h3b such big, opened mouth smiles. i feel like i waited a long time for social smiles, but with how often i get them now, it was worth the wait!

he got a bumbo seat off craigslist, so he's been practicing head control, sitting up, and playing with toys in an upright position. the picture above is his very first night and he seemed shocked yet relaxed. hilarious. he loves to "stand" and "jump" in my lap. his most favorite thing is when i run my finger up and down between his lips and make accompanying sound effects. he can find me in a room and looks for me when he hears my voice. he is just beginning to hold onto toys, but he doesn't reach for them yet. today he discovered his toes and feet and spent 15 minutes staring at them while curling and flexing his toes. if he's not swaddled, his hands are in his mouth. they must be tasty! he just continues to grow and change and learn so much, so fast.

last week i'm ripping my hair out, this week my heart overflows with love and amazement, it's a wild ride, but i'm so glad i'm on it.

my "happy" baby

by "happy", i mean not at all.

something happened to my sweet, precious boy. in the last few days he has turned into finley, the meanie monster baby. he cries. all day. he fusses before, during, and after nursing. he cries laying down. sitting in the bouncer. playing on the farm mat. resting on my lap. he cries when he's in his carseat, unless we're driving on the highway or walking quickly in the stroller. about the only time he doesn't cry is during the few moments i am walking him around (and he enjoys it) or if he's in the moby. in fact, he cried today while he was sleeping. and i'm talking sobbing. screaming, choking, wailing. i've tried everything but baby tylenol. well, i haven't tried alcohol. (not for finn. for me? yes. oh yes.)

top this with a massive tank in my breastmilk supply (part of the issue?) and i feel quite down. i don't know what happened. i had oversupply, forceful letdown, plenty of milk to pump before and after a feeding...and now i've got a few measly ounces from the entire day! it's frustrating and i'm so nervous i won't make more milk. i'm drinking mother's milk tea and pumping as often as i can and i hope i can get back to where i was. oh the days of cursing my engorged, leaking breasts. the grass. it's greener over there.

and while we're on the topic of breastfeeding. you all are liars!! i am not skinny. i think i've even gained weight in the last week. pounds are not melting away as i struggle to feed my baby. so yes, sign me up for a table, pity party for one. (make that two. poor mr.h3b has to deal with finn crying and me complaining about finn crying.)

 

if he wasn't this cute, i'd leave him outside in a basket that says free to a good home. (i'm kidding. but it's been a rough few days. i still love him, crying and all.)

3 months

finn is 3 months now and he has changed so much! in the last few days his smiling has ramped up and he spends half of his awake time smiling and cooing socially. it is amazing to talk to him and have him respond with a big, gummy grin and twinkling eyes. he recently found his hands and will spend time staring at them and chewing on them. he rolls his tongue around his mouth and loves to gum and lick a variety of objects.

he met his great grandparents on mr. h3b's side this weekend and fell in love with them. he enjoyed great grandpa's mustache and great grandma's calm voice. it is so amazing to watch him interact with people and we are lucky to have a great-great grandma and 3 great grandparents that he will know.

he also had a few firsts in the last week.

first trip to the beach:

first hockey game (pictured with his great aunt and uncle):

 

first trip to navy pier:

we are lucky to have a pretty calm baby that enjoys going out to eat, sightseeing, and being social. hopefully he continues to be an easy going little boy!

12 weeks!

finley turned 12 weeks today. which is insane.

he has changed from a tiny newborn to a healthy sized baby. he is alert and vocal, has found his hands (sort of), and is just a sweet little man. the best part about this time is the new found sleep (ok, it might still be his adorable face, snuggling into his little head, and kissing his soft baby hairs).

we are using a woombie and it has changed his sleep for the better. before the woombie and sleep routine, he was sleeping 11pm-3am and 4am-7am. now, we begin bedtime at 9:15pm and he is in his crib (in the woombie) by 10pm. by some miracle, he sleeps until 6am. he's been sleeping this way for about 2 weeks, but i didn't want to say anything before i got some good sleep myself. if i jinx it, at least we had a good run...

the latest development would be his increased fussiness. i can't tell if it's constipation, general baby crabbiness, or teething. he has been drooling and gums/chews objects in his mouth. and our fix-all, the soothie pacifier, isn't working as well. he still smiles for me, but a lot more of his awake time is spent crying or disgruntled than ever before. it's definitely harder to deal, so it's a good thing he's cute!

i was able to catch him while he was happy for a few pictures:

"budget" nurseries

i rarely use this blog for venting purposes of the non pg/new mom related nature. but, i've got to write it down somewhere that i am so annoyed about these "budget" nurseries that keep popping up on blogs and design sites that are not at all budget. and i understand that "budget" is relative. you can buy a clothes basket and some receiving blankets on the cheap, but i'm referring to designer style nurseries at a reduced cost.

here's my rant: if you are repurposing your own old furniture or using things that were gifts, they still cost money. they are not "free". that old ikea bookshelf from your office? it still cost $60. crib gift from grandparents? did they steal it? then it wasn't free. when you write up the total cost of the nursery, show us the money. if you were gifted a nice item, please tell us the cost. to reproduce or borrow ideas, "we" might need to pay for them. if you repaint, reuse, thrift, etc. an item from your house and it wasn't a garage sale find from 30 years ago, say so. most of the items people list as free/gift are actually pretty spendy (cribs, dressers, chairs) and tend to push a "budget" nursery of listed costs to quite a bit more.

so, yeah. here's finn with his grumpy face:

while i never itemized the cost of our nursery, i did consider it budget friendly for a semi-designer style (we were featured on spearmintbaby.com and ohdeedoh.com, so i can only assume someone thought it was nice). our crib, while a gift, was about $300. the rocker was the splurge, but the ikea furniture, handmade art, and mix and match decor kept our cost quite low. we did receive many items from family and if someone were to want to replicate any of our nursery (or anyone else's!), they probably wouldn't get the same things as gifts.

so that's my vent. if someone paid money for it, ever, to be in your nursery, then it wasn't "free!".

first mother's day

i celebrated my first mother's day yesterday with my most amazing family. finley got me a lovely necklace with an initial (his) charm and took me out for an all day shopping spree (mr. h3b helped). i also enjoyed a mani-pedi the day after my birthday, so i had a fun, celebratory weekend.

mother's day makes me so thankful for my own mother and the time, love, and patience she has given to raise me. (i made that card above for her, in honor of her mom, my grandma, who loved hummingbirds.) having a child make me realize what a special bond that is, and i am so lucky to have my new baby boy and my loving, supportive mother (plus an equally amazing mother-in-law!). i can't wait to watch finn grow and learn and i am excited to see more milestones in his life.

here's my peanut being adorable:

and here we are this weekend after my birthday dinner. finn was a good boy at the restaurant :)

10 weeks

i have a 10 week old! 10 weeks ago, at this very moment, i was just starting active labor. my mom and mr. h3b were talking me through and we were still able to carry on lengthy conversations. now i have a baby that is no longer a newborn. i noticed today, and mr. h3b agreed, that finley has made some sort of growth leap in the past few days. he holds his head up, pushes to stand, coos and squeals, smiles at faces - he just seems to understand and connect with (a tiny bit) the world around him. he loves bath time and is happiest in the mornings. he is learning to put himself to sleep at night (not crying to sleep, but to fall asleep drowsy after a feeding). he is noisiest during tummy time and loves to swat at his toys on the bouncer and playmat.

he had his 2 month well baby on wednesday (we're behind). my little, one month early boy is now in the 95% for height (24 1/4in) and between the 50 and 75% for weight (12lb 3oz). she was pleased with his skills (rolling over and kicking legs all day) and happy to hear that we've started a bedtime routine. she suggested using hydro-cortisone on has face for cradle cap/acne, so we've started that. hopefully his poor face clears up...he's had bad acne for 6 weeks now and i just want a smooth skinned baby face to snuggle with!

tomorrow is my birthday so finn and i plan to go out so we're not stuck inside, alone, all day. then i celebrate my first mother's day this weekend and i am so lucky to both have a fantastic mother (and mother-in-law) and to to be a mother to my wonderful, happy baby. finn is spoiling me with a much needed mani-pedi :)