15 weeks old

thanks again to all who commented on my sob story post last week. thankfully, finn hasn't been as fussy and my milk seems to have upped itself a bit. i'm drinking one glass of tea a day and pumping every night and i have enough for him plus 5 oz to store every day and a half, so i'm feeling much better. it still worries me because i no longer feel engorged and i don't leak unless i'm feeding him. i should be thankful, because i'm pretty sure i complained about those things during the first few weeks, but they were strong signs that i had a lot of milk. i just have to get used to the change, i guess.

i've been working on finn to get him to giggle, but i just can't get a belly laugh. he squeals and pants and gets excited, but he hasn't laughed yet. his smiles will melt your heart, though. they are so big, and he shares them with me, and others, throughout the day. when i go into the nursery in the morning, he just grins from ear to ear. he loves his daddy and gives mr. h3b such big, opened mouth smiles. i feel like i waited a long time for social smiles, but with how often i get them now, it was worth the wait!

he got a bumbo seat off craigslist, so he's been practicing head control, sitting up, and playing with toys in an upright position. the picture above is his very first night and he seemed shocked yet relaxed. hilarious. he loves to "stand" and "jump" in my lap. his most favorite thing is when i run my finger up and down between his lips and make accompanying sound effects. he can find me in a room and looks for me when he hears my voice. he is just beginning to hold onto toys, but he doesn't reach for them yet. today he discovered his toes and feet and spent 15 minutes staring at them while curling and flexing his toes. if he's not swaddled, his hands are in his mouth. they must be tasty! he just continues to grow and change and learn so much, so fast.

last week i'm ripping my hair out, this week my heart overflows with love and amazement, it's a wild ride, but i'm so glad i'm on it.