finn in preschool

pardon me while i pass the heck out. preschool?! it's been almost a month and i am still reeling over the fact that my tiny little baby boy is off at school without me. i feel like if everyone knows how fast it all goes, why can't we seem to figure that whole thing out and SLOW it down? time, man.

anyway. finn started preschool this year and he loves it. he's the oldest in his class and only going 2 days a week for 2 hours, but it's legit play based school. i love that he bounds right in, says good morning to everyone, and hardly notices i'm still in the room or that i leave. ok, and a tiny bit heartbroken that after 3 years of being with me almost all day every single day, eh doesn't find it difficult to be without me. i credit the YMCA drop off for that, since he's been going since he was 1 and we worked through that phase.

he brings his "packpack" and he sits criss-cross applesauce. he washes his hands 500 times and puts his hands on his lap to wait before eating his snack once all of his classmates have been served. he brings home "beetiful" art and notes from his teachers. but he won't tell me about it, really. he gets frustrated because he can't remember or he doesn't want to share. "don't tell me bout that, mom!", he responds if i ask him what he did, if he sang songs, read books, etc.

even though it's all going too quick, i'm thankful he's enjoying it. i'm hoping he makes some new friends and learns the things he might not have while at home with just me. i secretly kinda hope he misses me sometimes, too ;) i mean, this face? i certainly miss it!

baby rowan: 4 months

this baby is 4 months! i don't have his measurements because he hasn't had his appointment yet, but he is bigger! so much chubbier than finn seemed, rounder with shorter legs.

if i could some up this past month in a word or two: please, sleep. i know parents battle with this ALL of the time. i know finn had his moments but we were so spoiled and we didn't know it. rowan does not sleep great. he cannot transition through sleep cycles and he is constantly waking up screaming. honestly, it is so annoying. he is tired and he needs more sleep, but i can't seem to figure out how to help him. we are still swaddling, still using a pacifier, using the swing, trying the crib, quiet, loud, noise machine, and so on... every few days he sleeps like a champ. hours upon hours of straight sleep. most days he cat naps and screams. not all day, but every time he wakes up. if i pick him up/nurse him he will go back to sleep, but he wants that each time, so, every 20 minutes? it's impossible.

he treated us to a few really long night sleeps (8:45pm to 4am one night) but he's now back to going down at about 9:30 pm (we start at 8:30 but it takes that long for him to settle, eat, resettle and fall asleep). he wakes between 1 and 2 am for a feed but goes right back to sleep. he wakes again between 4 and 5 and then again at about 7:30. again, i won't lie. getting up every two hours for a 4 month old is tough. since i know he can sleep for longer (since he has!) it is frustrating, but if i don't nurse him, he screams and wakes everyone up. i don't know what to do so i do the easiest thing. i moved him out of the bed and into his crib pretty easily and mostly i did it because he would prefer to comfort feed all night. i know that works for many people, but it doesn't work for me (and it certainly doesn't work for my husband who can't sleep through it if he makes noise and can't sleep around him if he doesn't..ie, pillows on his face).

to say that the lack of longer/scream-free naps while at home is difficult would be an understatement. and while i'm complaining and before i gush, i'll note that he haaates the car seat. screams as i lower him in, screams as he's buckled, screams through the car ride if we aren't moving (sometimes when we are). if/when he falls asleep it's not so bad, but as soon as we stop he's awake and screaming. there is no easing into it. he's up and he's practically vomiting through his sobs.

but. BUT. he laughs. he loves having his head and neck caressed and finds putting on clothing so hilarious. he is so interactive and expressive now. he found his hands a few days ago and can now grab and hold onto toys. everything goes into his mouth. his fingers, our fingers, all toys, all fabrics. he is a big thumb/finger/hand sucker and drools like crazy. he can spot us from across the room and tips his chin down while smiling coyly. he has been slightly better about playing/being independently and will permit us to set him down on his playmat, in his swing, or in his jumperoo for a few minutes at a time.

also adorable? he's finding his own feet. he can't grab at them yet, but he lifts them up and down and uses them to kick things on purpose (aimed at hanging toys, mostly). and he loves to look at them.

i hope he's the foot grabbing type. i love that!

baby rowan: 3 months

oooh.k. i am behind. here is a picture of rowan at 3 months. he was cute then, cuter now even! i'm working on my four month post, too, since this one is a MONTH behind.

baby rowan in month 3 was tough. he is still working out his sleep schedule, still figuring out how often he might want to eat, still demanding that someone hold him 97% of his day. but, he smiled a ton and learned to giggle so that pretty much makes being tired seem trivial. i'm just going to skip right over this month, really, and post in the 4 month one. oopsies!