18 weeks

compare to 18 weeks from my first pregnancy.

i have been feeling a lot of movement, especially at night. mostly just rolls and swirling feelings, but every so often i get a clear, single jab or kick. a few days ago i got a good one and asked mr. h3b to try and feel from the outside. we waited and baby did the rolling after only about a minute. so movement felt on the outside by another person at 17w6d. i checked back on my last pregnancy and the time frame was very similar.

how far along? 18 weeks
total weight gain: 10lb. i didn't gain any weight between 11 and 15 weeks, but then came the holidays
maternity clothes? some of both. maternity is more comfortable, though
sleep: decent overall. i get up to pee 1-2 times per night
best moment this week: feeling movement on the outside
movement: yes, but not hard kicks yet
gender: we find out on jan 25
labor signs: none
belly button in or out? in but shallow
food cravings: tomatoes in balsamic vinegar
what i miss: i always miss champagne!
what i am looking forward to: finding out the gender in two weeks
weekly wisdom: splurge on a few nice maternity items. last pregnancy i bought myself more expensive jeans and loved them. they are still too big on me right now, so i need alternatives. i found some great skinny jeans that were way more than i'd normally spend, but i can wear them almost daily and i (think i) look good and thus, feel good.

mine only for now

when carrying a baby, that baby seems like it's all mine. i don't have to share it with the world and no one else gets to experience that individual baby growing like i do. it changes a little bit when the baby is born, but still. the workload, the largest share of love, the one-on-one time is all mine (well, ours, husband too!). and even though finley is almost three, i still think of him as an extension of me.

finn has croup right now and we let him sleep in our bed to monitor his breathing. we don't bed share and never have, so it's actually pretty sweet to sleep next to that warm little body, all wiggly and coughy. since our bed only seems big enough for one pregnant person and one other person, husband slept on the couch. so, finn was all mine. i have never gotten sleeping shots of him as he is typically a light sleeper and wakes up when his door is opened. i took advantage of the closeness and got a few treasured moments.

during the day while he lounges on the couch asking me to lay with him...again he is mine. i take that time to look at his face. his little chapped lips and his red eyes from the tears that well up during his coughing fits. i touch his pink cheeks and see his little teeth while he breathes with a tiny open mouth. i twist his curls and rub his soft back and i take all of him in.

today i looked at his palms. i wanted to see his tiny fingerprints (since my second baby is currently forming theirs). right now, these seem like my finger prints. not my own, but he doesn't know what they are and he doesn't think about them or use them, so they seem like mine. the pattern is clean and perfect, still fresh despite a few years of use. i can hold his little hands and look at them whenever i want.

but later (and yes, even now, technically) they will be his. he will use them for his own identification. they are his hands and i won't get to see them everyday, hold them and look at the swirls. they will become weathered with his life and not mine. i am watching him become his own person and each little milestone allows him to become more independent and free. less mine.

12 week ultrasound

we decided to do the "bun" screening to test for down syndrome and other trisomy disorders. i enjoy the ultrasound part of the process (of course!) and we got some great pictures of little baby 2.0. husband and finn were along and it was great to share that experience with the soon-to-be big brother.







the last one is the top of the head with tiny little hands! we did have a u/s at around 6 weeks and were able to see the little speck with a heartbeat and it was so amazing to see the changes in just 6 weeks. the baby kept bring its hand near its mouth like a tiny wave and did a few jumps. the heartbeat was 147 bpm. the bridge of the nose is present and the fold at the back of the neck was within the expected range.

to complete the testing, i had to produce enough blood via finger prick to cover 4 circles on the test strip. as i mentioned a time or two, i don't do well with blood. not at all. at my first appointment (where they take all of your blood and leave you with almost none) i asked to lay down first and in the middle (needle in) i got really sick and a passing ultrasound tech had to come in and hold a trash bag near my face while cooling my forehead with a wet cloth. i am embarrassed when this happens but i have no control over it and try as i might, i couldn't even make it through the finger prick without a scene. after i left the chair i was feeling sick but ok, but as soon as i walked into the main part of the hospital i got dizzy and confused. i handed my husband my water and coat and someone saw me struggling and offered to help. they pointed me to the bathroom and i tossed my cookies (err, salad, which is awful, honestly.). multiple times. over a finger prick!

i guess it was all worth it when i got the call a week later that my results came back fine and the baby's risk of having the tested syndromes were quite low.

12 weeks

compare to first pregnancy here. i don't think i'll be much smaller in the belly this time around, but i'm hoping to keep working out and maintain some sense of athletic ability so i can bounce back slightly easier. i'm crossing my fingers!

how far along? 12 weeks

total weight gain: 5 lbs (in my boobs and legs)
maternity clothes? no
sleep: pretty good, very tired
best moment this week: seeing baby on u/s
movement: none
gender: we'll find out in january
labor signs: none
belly button in or out? in
food cravings: salads and comfort foods
what i miss: cocktails!
what i am looking forward to: finding out the gender
weekly wisdom: hmm, i don't have any :)

2nd pregnancy thus far

while i'm in my second trimester now, i wanted to make sure i wrote down a few notes from the first trimester before they are long forgotten. it's true what everyone says. the second flies even faster and there's just not the same amount of time to dedicate to every little detail of the pregnancy.

we found out that i was expecting our 2nd baby on october 2, 2012. i was 3 weeks and 2 days pregnant...or barely at all. it wasn't unexpected so i was anxious to test and find out. i had a lingering cold that just would not go away and i was feeling slightly tired with an extra sore, swollen chest. i had tested two days prior (way too earlier, of course) so when i tested with fmu that morning i didn't expect much. at just 9 dpo i really wasn't expecting to see anything even if i was pregnant. i was wrong and saw that faint second line on an internet cheapie test. i left it on the counter for husband to see when he hopped in the shower and i went back to snuggle with finn on the couch. (oh, the differences began early!) when he didn't notice all morning, i asked him if he had seen the test. since he assumed it was an opk, he didn't think twice about the strip laying there. he brought it out with a grin and said "that's a positive pregnancy test, then?" and gave me a big forehead kiss (still sick). he was mostly excited to find out the gender and when i reminded him that we had to wait 20 weeks he asked when things would be "safe" enough to tell. i reminded him 12 weeks or so and he said "ugh, i forgot there's so much waiting!". indeed. i tested a few more times with internet tests and then requested a digital just to see it say pregnant.



my symtpoms leading up to and within the week of taking my pregnancy tests included:
-swollen, tender breasts
-spotting from days 7-13 (just like last time!)
-cramping
-slow to roll immune system

for posterity's sake, here's me before everything gets stretched out for a second time:


my symptoms during the first tri were almost exactly the same as last time. i was very hungry for comfort foods and extra salty, briny foods like olives and pickles. i was sick almost everyday between about 1 pm and midnight but i only threw up on the two occasion in which blood was involved (an ER visit for finn and a blood draw for me). the worst part for me was being so tired. with a toddler, you just can't rest. anyone who has more than one child surely agrees: the first pregnancy is the likely the easiest and you just don't know it until the next time. i started feeling less sick around 13 weeks and am just starting to feel a bit more energy. i've been working out at least 3 days a week (unlike last pregnancy) and i'm hoping i can maintain a lower weight overall compared to last time.

santa knows me

christmas is really magical to me and i've been so excited to introduce all of the wonder to finley in traditions and memories. we have three christmas trees, we do elf on the shelf, we have chocolate advent calendars, and we talk about santa and wait for his big night on christmas eve. through it all, i try to remind finley of the magic that is giving and that as fun as it is to get presents, it is wonderful to give gifts and show others kindness during the season (and obviously, year round).



to me, santa is such a wonderful concept. i love everything about santa and it seems finley is at the age where he does, too. we took him to see santa at our Y and he could hardly contain himself. instead of being shy or nervous he walked right up and let santa place him right on his lap. he smiled and looked right at santa, answering that he was a good boy (or girl, since santa had a hard time with this...). and he expertly delivered his gift list as he has been for days: "teddy bears, planes, trains, trucks, cars". he didn't want to leave and his sparkling eyes were fixated on that jolly old man.

tonight in preparation of riding chicago's "holiday express", the santa train, i played him a video we created online. you can input your child's name and some details and santa delivers a tailored message to your little one. we did this last year and finn enjoyed it then, but he was amazed this year. he saw his picture on santa's "finley" book (that's me!) and he was so excited to get a peak into the toy workshop.

he asked me to watch it again, so we did. a minute or so into it, again with his twinkling eyes watching santa with wonder, he softly said, "santa knows me". and it took everything in me not to scoop that precious boy up and hug him, teary eyed and happy over the magic of the season. "santa knows me."

we waited for over 20 minutes to ride the holiday express and when it finally arrived, finn was ecstatic. the train is decorated with lights and garland and santa's elves hand out candy canes upon entering. when we eventually hopped off to switch trains, we got to see santa as he was whisked off via train (he rides outside on a flat car). as we waited (and waited) for the next train, we were treated to a round trip view of santa's train. at our stop, finn was able to walk right up to santa, where he waved and said hello. santa looked right at him and chatted. finn was so proud when santa said, " i like your hat!" (a new red one) and when he said "i'll see you soon", i know finn believed it.

oh, hello!

it's true! my absence has been caused by the first trimester of my 2nd baby. today i am 14 weeks 2 days and finally not feeling quite as sick or tired (mostly). i can't wait to get back to blogging about my big boy who is almost 3 (THREE?!) and the new little baby that i'm just getting to know.