12 months. 1 year.

the day has come and gone and now my baby boy is one. i have known him for a whole year and i'm so lucky to have spent almost every single day watching him grow and learn. i still miss being pregnant (yes, still!) and i can hardly remember how tiny he was when we brought him home. i held back tears a few times on his birthday. i just cannot believe how fast a whole year of my life has gone - of our lives - and even though i've taken thousands of pictures, tons of videos, and tried to put all these important details in my memory bank, i know i'm forgetting things. sometimes i don't realize it's the last time i'll see him do something. the last time without teeth. the last tiny cry. the (soon-to-be) last nursing session. all of the firsts go so fast and leave things he could "only" do back in the past. but those first are so much fun and he has grown into such a funny character. he knows he's funny. he plays and interacts and has quirky little tendencies (a funny peek around, head tilt move to look at you, for one). he sees the world around him and motions for things he likes, taking in the sights and sounds of new places every day. for all of the longing i do for him to be little, i am happy to watch him become a boy. he loved his birthday and he seems to love being one. something clicked following his first 365 days. on day 366 he changed (i swear!) and he is even more amazing than i could have imagined.

moving on from the sappy stuff, here are the details about being one, finley-style :)
he is 19lb 6oz (5th%) and 30 inches (75th%) - a tall and skinny boy.
he has a full head of curly strawberry blond hair that grows so fast.
he has 7 teeth (4 on top, 3 on the bottom).
he signs "more" for food and things he likes.
he dances with his shoulders and booty to any music he hears.
he claps, waves hi and bye, and shakes his head no.
he eats big kid food (no purees) and self feeds 95% of the time.
he drinks whole milk from a sippy 2-3 times a day and nurses before bed.
he cruises around the house on furniture, his trike or wheely, or holding our hands.
he doesn't mind 7 hour car rides.
he loves dog food (ugh).
he naps from 11am-12:30/1pm and from 4:30-5:30pm and sleeps from 8:45pm-7am.
he sleeps with a pacifier, three silkies, a seahorse, and two stuffed ducks.
he "reads" by holding books and turning pages. favorites: "doggies" and "pat the bunny"
he won't sit still for a picture. at all.
he (still) loves being held, hates being left behind, and throws tantrums over the tiniest things.
he loves his mommy (and his daddy) and squeals with delight when we toss him in the air, crawls like crazy to us from across the room, judges our post dinner dance parties, and adores being cuddled and spoiled with love.

and to wrap up, here's a look back at the last 12 months. so funny to compare, to see the subtle changes (and the not so, like losing all his hair, then suddenly having a ton of it), and to watch him grow. also great? the incredible shrinking onesie (in months 3 and 5-12) that is now (finally) retired.

 click for bigger and ignore the color variations across the year :)

happy first birthday!

i. have. a one year old. we celebrated finley's first birth with a party on saturday the 26th - he was exactly one year old!

you should be able to click on these images to see them larger

the theme was green. the decor included lots of pennant flag bunting, his monthly photos, and lots of other green accents. i made everything, including a "1" shirt that i didn't snap a picture of...

the food was green. edamame, veggies, minted fruit salad, pickles, dipped marshmallows...the list goes on. i made homemade funfetti cupcakes with only green "funfetti". we served beer in green bottles, limeade, and sparkling lime water.

we did a traditional cake smash. real cake. real frosting. at first he just looked at. i gave him a taste and he licked his fingers clean. and then he dove in face first. he ate a ton of cake and hardly used his hands at all. it was hilarious and perfect. i had a moment while everyone was signing happy birthday. one of those this is a moment times when you scan the room and take it all in. it was his first birthday. twenty years from now i'll tell stories of him eating his cake without his hands while everyone laughed and clapped.

and he was spoiled! books and new clothes (he has nothing long enough!) and puzzles and toys. and the big gift from his grandparents - a walk-on tricycle! i didn't think he'd be ready, but my little one year old took off on his trike like some big kid. like he'd been practicing or something.

he still has another party with the other set of relatives so i'll share even more first birthday love. and i've also got his last in the first year series of monthly photos to share along with stats and milestones. stay tuned :)

happy first birthday, finley holden!

almost.

he is almost one. this baby boy that keeps growing, right before my eyes, is now on the cusp of toddlerhood. one and no longer a tiny, helpless being. he is independent, learning new things and becoming more autonomous every single day. but he is not one yet.

he is still my tiny, little, baby boy. i still hold him each night before he goes to bed and i'm the first one he sees each morning. i still nurse him at those times (and only those times) and while i am ready to wean, i am clinging to these last weeks of such a strong bond. if he's not nursing, not eating purees, not being swaddled, not fitting into 3-6 month clothes (retired the last one today), not awkwardly grasping for the simplest of toys...then, what?

i go through different stages these days. one minute i am so excited for what is ahead. walking, playing at the park, talking, doing things on his own. and the very next, on the verge of tears over the idea of him walking away from me, not being small enough to fit into tiny sleepers with animals on the feet, saying NO! all day. i am excitedly planning his first birthday party (two, actually). i am feeling anxious over his first birthday, a whole year from when i met first him. i grapple with no longer having a little baby that people say "oh, so tiny!". that i dressed in sweet little clothes made for preemies. that i nursed 12 times a day. that i can barely remember.

his tiny mewing cries are now loud and the house is filled with his screaming. he is alert, active, and ready for more life. his once quiet breath has turned into babbling and laughing. he is so much more fun to be with, to play with...and yet i am sad to leave my baby behind.

clearly, he can't believe it either ;)

i imagine the next time i post, finley holden will be a whole year old. and i'll either be laughing and playing with my big boy or crumpled in a heap on the floor of his nursery thinking about those early days, trying to remember every bit of them before more years pass.

busy busy!

it's birthday month. one year is quickly approaching. we're very busy - me party planning, prepping and finley being 11 months. he is a crazy boy and has been giving me a run for my money.

these pictures depict about a ten minute span in which he attacked me with cuteness, played with the radiator (which wasn't hot then, but is a NO touch object), pulled on the end table to get to a glass orb (NO touch), and whipped his mittens around for a bit.

who me? not getting in trouble! :cue head shake to indicate no: his new thing is to shake his head when he's doing something he shouldn't. he does this when he doesn't want to do or eat something, too.

along with terrorizing the house and its other inhabitants, he's been battling a laundry list of illnesses this winter. he hasn't been 100% well since before christmas. after january's perforated ear drum, new tooth, and 2 week cold that resulted in 2 separate bouts of a viral rash, he got a 24 hour stomach bug (as did i, in ikea) and a double ear infection with another ruptured drum in his left ear. oh, and more teeth!

but we're on the upswing and i'm hoping that he's happy and healthy for his first birthday.

being funny

all of the sudden finley has turned into some funny little character. he's got a personality and he sometimes treats us to giggle fests (he's always been sort of quiet and judgey rather than smiley and giggly).he's also sort of a daredevil. not when it comes to walking - oh, no. but leaping off couches and chairs? sure, no problem! his monthly photos and any shots of him sitting still are next to impossible these days. you can see above that he's debating eating that plant or jumping to the wood floor below.

try to ignore the drool fest and look at those lashes! he is very interested in feet and toes. he even loves the dogs feet and black toenails.

and look! interactive play! or, sharp teeth testing their chopming abilities. along with his personality has come the desire to chew on everything. corners of furniture, baskets, my feet, toys, the dogs' toys...you name it, he's gnawing on it.

and after a long morning of playing, chewing, and trying to fling himself of furniture, there's nothing like a quick nap in a comfy bouncer. he's been doing this a lot now and i find it's a good way to figure out if he's actually tierd in the morning. he plays and the bouncing must lull right off to sleep. i watch him nod off and scoop him up and into his crib to complete his morning nap somewhere a bit less upright.

what a character...

11 months

yes. 11. eleven months old.

we're under a month away from finley's first birthday and i seriously (seriously!) do not know how this has happened. i'm in pretty deep, planning and dreading and looking forward to his party(ies) all at once. while he won't remember it, we will, and i want to look back and see his first birthday fondly, through fat, rolling tears, i'm sure...

so, at eleven months finley is officially not a baby. he is losing his infant looks and everyday i glance over and see flashes of a little boy. his hair is longer and curly and he has 5.5 teeth - big teeth that do not belong in a little baby's mouth. he doesn't say any words but babbles and screeches. he is nervous to walk, so he reaches out for something but quickly plops down to crawl rather than take a step or two. he did pull his hands away from me last week and stood by himself three times, but he hasn't repeated that brave maneuver again. he eats more table food than purees now and has sampled everything we eat. full dinners are grasped by tiny fingers and shoveled toward his face.

he's been quite sick this last month. he started with a cold that turned into an undiagnosed ear infection, which was post-diagnosed when he has fluid pouring from his left ear. a perforated ear drum and his first round of antibiotics led us straight into his next cold - a virus with a full body rash. he's been coughing, sneezing, snotty, and sad for almost a month and we're all ready for better health. while at the dr., i weighed him fully clothed and he was 19lb 12oz. so even while sick, teething, and moving like crazy he is still putting on weight!

he's a funny little guy. he's learned how to blow raspberries on lots of objects to make loud noises. he crawls as fast as he can around our coffee table. he likes to play in the toilet (!). he giggles and chases the dogs. he likes to snuggle and lay his head on your belly/shoulder/back. he's started to play by himself but would still prefer to be held all day. i guess i should cherish these moments as they'll get fewer and further between. i'm seeing that firsthand!

moving to toddler status

i look at that little face and all of his naughty habits fade away.

somehow at around 10 months, finn went from a baby to a toddler. he's not quite there, but things get crazier every day. he's taking "new year, new me" to extremes.

he went from sitting still and quietly playing or crawl-meandering around the house...to wild child. he zooms from here to there ALL day. just tonight mr. h3b and i were discussing the number of places he went and things he got into in a 4 minute span. dogs, rug, books, bookshelf, mom, dogs, mom, rug.

it's hard to entertain him for consecutive hours (especially since it's cold)! i often resort to the nursery where there are very few "no" items. he raids his toy bin, rocks on the elephant, and bothers the dogs (or they bother him). it's so cute to watch him pick his favorite toys and to chat with them while he's playing.

but the sweetness only last for a minute or two. then he's off tearing books off of a shelf, his new favorite thing. when he spots the bookshelf he zips over to pull everything onto the floor. i must pull him away 40+ times per day.

i have no idea what i'll do when he's walking. he'll be taller and he'll reach more shelves. it's impossible to baby proof all of our things, so i'm considering a straightjacket or, at the minimum, some soft hand-cuffs.

any tips to keep kids out of all the trouble they can find?!