hot fudge sundae

i wanted one.

mr. h3b and i went out to get, specifically, a soft serve hot fudge sundae for me. we could have gone to mcdonald's for cheap and easy, but instead we ventured out to baskin robbins. it's 9:15 pm on a sunday night and the place was empty save for one worker and one shady character. i'm wearing black leggings (with a hole in the bum, so nice...), black boots, and a black hoodie and have no makeup on and my hair swept back in an effortless updo (read: unclean, unkempt...). the following dialogue takes place:

me: what comes on a soft serve sundae?
he motions to the soft serve machine.

me: yes, the sundae, what's on it?
him (broken english): just this, in a cup ::makes swirling motion::
me: no i want the sundae, not just the cup of soft serve.
him: well sundae is two scoops ::motions to hard ice cream::
me: no i want the soft serve sundae.
::blanks stare::   ::crickets::
him: hold on for just one minute.

he leaves behind some wall and is gone for about 8 minutes. during this time the shady character asks mr. h3b for a quarter. we have no change and say so, but the man lingers very close anyway (for a quarter?). the employee returns, confident in his new found sundae knowledge. he picks up a medium or large drink cup and asks if this is the size i want. i say sure...it's too complicated to argue or ask why i'm getting a slurpee sized serving. he begins to fill the cup with soft serve, carefully swirling, and after 2 minutes, i see the ice cream at the top. where will the chocolate, the sprinkles, anything, go?!

me: i want hot fudge, right?
him: yes. ::adds two more swirls to top of cup::

he adds a spoonful of hot fudge to the entire cup, sprinkles on jimmies, and tops with a cherry. he presents it, smiling, to me. i eat the hot fudge/ice cream top in 3 bites and am left with a cup of vanilla soft serve. meanwhile, he makes mr. h3b a layered peanut butter cup sundae that involves intricate portion planning and tops his with extra candies. w.t.f.

since shady character is still lurking as we begin to pay, mr. h3b gives him $5 lest he try to follow us out to the car. we pay $11 (ELEVEN!) for our two sundaes. we head directly to the grocery store and buy a jar of hot fudge so i can enjoy the rest of my soft serve.

$20 well spent.